Do you know what you need to flourish?
I think most of us know, if we're honest. We need rest, people who truly see us, time to play, and a purpose that's bigger than just ticking off tasks. These aren't secrets.
But knowing what I need isn't where I get stuck. For me, the challenge is letting myself have it, instead of letting something else decide for me.
After our last holiday, I came home already dreaming about the next place to visit.
Maybe it would be an island we haven't visited yet, like Tahiti. I can picture it now. That part's easy; I've never had trouble dreaming about all the things that I’d love to experience.
But here's what I realised: Planning and saving would make it possible over time. Mentally, I know this, yet I still talk about it as if it's out of reach.
That's not a resources problem. That's a permission problem.
I recently came across a list about what it takes to flourish.
- Tend to yourself.
- Stay connected to people.
- Make space to play.
- Get outside.
- Stay open to something bigger than the to-do list.
None of it surprised me.
For years, I lived by the idea that 'when I get there, then I'll let myself have [fill in the blank].'
- When the business pays me a market-rate salary.
- When I have savings.
- When life is less demanding.
- When I can work four days a week.
- When I can take an overseas holiday each year.
- When I can treat myself without feeling like I have to earn it first.
Maybe you have your own version of that list.
For me, 'there' meant selling my business. I thought that once I sold it, I could focus on my health, rest, and finally breathe again. I had a list of things I believed would be possible after selling my business.
But right away, I created a new rule for myself: “When I have clarity on my next move, then I can dream bigger”.
The goalpost was never really about money, time, or clarity. Those things changed, but the waiting stayed the same. The real goalpost was permission, and I kept moving it. As long as it stayed just ahead of me, I never had to claim what I wanted.
I'm doing it again right now. I'm picturing a holiday I could actually afford, if I let myself plan for it instead of just dreaming. But right now, the permission I'm struggling with is, 'When the house is fixed.' After that, it will be, 'When the house is sold.'
I'm learning that there will always be another line to cross. The goalpost doesn't stop moving just because you reach it. It only stops when you decide to stop chasing it.
It's not about what you'd do with more time, money, or space. But what's one thing you could give yourself today? Rest. Connection. Play. Whatever flourish is for you?
Not after the house is sold, or whatever your version of 'first' might be.
That's what I want you to think about. Not the list of what it takes to flourish - you probably already know that. Who's really deciding if you get to flourish? Is it you, or is it an old pattern running in the background, quietly making that choice for you?
🧠 THINK (mindset shift)
Give yourself permission without any conditions. You don’t have to earn the right to rest, dream, or take up space.
💡 DO (practical action)
This week, pick one thing from your flourish list and give yourself permission to do it, without waiting for everything else to be finished first.
🚀 HAVE (expected results)
You’ll get a taste of what it feels like to have something now, instead of waiting for permission that was never going to come.
💬 Your turn
What's the thing you want, but keep putting off?
What are you telling yourself has to happen first, before you let yourself have it?
This week, give it to yourself anyway.
💛 Sandra
